Week in Review: Midterm Grades

Paladino and Bentley receive top marks!

Week in Review

City Council Midterm Grades

With City Council canceled this week, we took some time to put together midterm grades for City Council—and its CEO (who makes $200,000 per year and does not live in Hillsdale).

Ward I

Hardworkin’ Gerg Stuchell

• Best line, on staff resignations: “Can we write a letter to Ginger from Council for gratitude? Something that she could hang on a wall?”

• Notes:

  • Works 50-hour weeks and runs a small business on the side.

  • Most Decorous on Council.

  • Feels young.

  • Says the City Manager makes Hillsdale great.

• Grade: D

Jacob Bruns

• Best line, on Nurse Mackie: “It’s not the City Manager’s job to determine what’s appropriate. That’s Council’s job. The inappropriate thing going on is your political opinion being offered to this political body.”

• Notes:

  • Useless in driving things forward.

  • Votes fine.

  • Occupies a seat.

• Grade: B-

Ward II

Will Morrisey

• Best line, recklessly assigning blame: “If people in the town treat our employees like crap, they’re going to leave.”

• Notes:

  • Subservient to staff.

  • Eager to spend other peoples’ money.

• Grade: C-

Matthew Bentley

• Best line: “Some on this Council just plow ahead, indifferent to the will of the people.”

• Notes:

  • For listening to the people.

  • Combative with out-of-line staffers, performative Councilmen.

  • Not as consistently belligerent as we would prefer.

• Grade: A-

Ward III

Jogger

• Best line, on government 101—too advanced for this Council: “Legislatures change the statute all the time.”

• Notes:

  • Knows less about the Dawn than one might expect.

  • Sometimes seems to be up for a fight.

  • Raises fees on citizens but not nonresidents.

• Grade: C+

Bitchin’ Bob

• Best line, on comfort food: “The overwhelming thing that I heard that made me smile was that, ‘I can now shop at Aldi, I can now shop at Kroger, I can now shop at Meijer’. . . It’s comforting to see. . . The people in the front of the line—I kid you not: they were there at midnight—they came all the way from Flint.”

• Notes:

  • Neither old.

  • Nor retired.

  • Nor wealthy.

  • Says Hillsdale is the perfect place, but votes to change it whenever possible.

• Grade: D

Ward IV

Joshua Paladino

• Best line, on Decorum & Professionalism in action: “We’re going to collect interest on a surplus, and then tax our residents and then collect interest on their inability to pay. We’re acting as a bank.”

• Notes:

  • Speaks clearly and sets the agenda effectively.

  • Knows the charter and ordinances.

  • Has ideas about incremental improvement—but mistakenly talks about said ideas.

  • Scrappin’ with Mackie.

  • Still has man bun.

• Grade: A-

Robert Socha

• Best line, on the Win-Win: “We’re on the precipice of a launch into a Bright and Beautiful Future. . . It’s going to be magnificent and visionary.”

• Notes:

  • Will solve the City’s problems by getting a $250 million endowment.

  • Asked Big Nurse Ratched for permission to run for Mayor.

  • Called Paladino “disingenuous,” rescinded his insult, and then reissued it.

  • Sound and fury.

  • Wants you to open up your pocketbook.

• Grade: D+

CEO

David “Ratched” Mackie

• Best line: “I prefer not to work with these elected officials who are willing to change voted policies on a whim to suit whatever complaint comes to them and I hope that soon the city’s residents will recognize their efforts are not for the betterment of the city.”¹

• Notes:

  • Performed admirably in his realpolitiking.

  • Cultivated a hostile (Decent) work environment.

  • Couldn’t answer basic questions.

  • Loves SADs, fees, permits, forms, ignoring the people.

• Grade: F

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External Links

• “This petition effort is about protecting Hillsdale County taxpayers and our public safety funds from substantial and unnecessary financial risk.” Andrea Clark.

• “It’s a running joke here that drunk drivers drive straight, and sober drivers drive like drunks.” Jacob Bruns, writing for the Michigan Enjoyer.

• “Four candidates have filed the necessary paperwork with the Hillsdale City Clerk’s Office to officially announce their candidacy for the city's top elected office.” Corey Murray is as informative as usual.

• “Michigan Secretary of State Jocelyn Benson violated a campaign finance law . . . but attorneys in Nessel’s office . . . determined they don’t have the authority to punish Benson.” Bridge Michigan.

• “I can tell you this, that if, as the book reports, Cabinet members didn’t have access, that tells you that, as a governor in a state . . . I was busy working.” Gretchen Whitmer.

• “Republican Congressman John James is getting a $5 million campaign boost from members of the west Michigan DeVos family in support of his bid for governor.” The Detroit News.

• “West Michigan’s wealthy DeVos family is planning to set up a new political operation ahead of the 2026 mid-term election with the goal of turning the state Republican.” The Detroit News.

• “Don’t ---- around with Medicaid.” President Trump.

• “In the aftermath of the consensus machine, the 21st-century’s increasingly AI-enhanced digital public discourse grows more hallucinatory by the day.” Mary Harrington.

• “The transhumanist mission will inevitably require a large number of human test subjects . . . utopianism always demands its blood sacrifices in the name of the distant paradise.” Ewan Morrison.

1. We should mention that these words are alleged to have been written by former engineer Kristen Bauer.